Series 2, Episode 13

Written by Maureen Chadwick & Ann McManus
Produced by Brian Park
Directed by Laurence Moody

Air Date: 4th August, 2000

Dominic has mislaid the passport photographs he had taken the day before. His passport also went missing a few days ago and he urgently needs to get a replacement before going away on holiday the following day. Meanwhile, Hollamby is making a list of the people she’s inviting to her 30th wedding anniversary party in the officer’s club that night. Fenner notices that Karen’s name is not included, a mistake hastily rectified by Hollamby when Karen arrives to tell her that security need the list as soon as possible.

Yvonne inter-prison visit with Charlie has been approved and Hollamby arrives to take her up to the visiting room. Charlie is late and an already impatient Hollamby reaches for her walkie talkie to find out what the delay is. She then has the unpleasant task of informing Yvonne that Charlie’s not coming and that he doesn’t want to see her again…ever. Yvonne can’t believe it and reacts angrily before breaking down in tears.

Nikki opens up the wound on her hand with the sharp edge of a phonecard. She is taken to see the nurse by Di. On their way to the hospital wing, they pass Helen and Fenner who are arguing about her plans to turn G-Wing into a lifers’ unit. Helen sees Nikki’s injured hand and is very concerned. Up on the hospital wing, Nikki is again seen by Janine. The reason behind Nikki’s self-mutilation becomes clear when she offers Janine three thousand pounds to help her escape for one night. Janine, aware that the money will help her clear her debts and pay for a plane ticket to Australia, reluctantly agrees.

Yvonne, Shell and the Julies are told that they will be serving drinks at Hollamby’s party. Yvonne comes up with an idea and demonstrates to the others how they will sew a plastic bag into their trousers in order to obtain any leftover alcohol!

It’s the day of Crystal’s release and she’s beginning to wonder why nobody has arrived to escort her off the premises. She goes to the officer’s room and is informed by Dominic that there is a problem with her travel warrant. Whilst Dominic goes to find out what the delay is, Di offers to make Crystal a cup of tea. When Di’s back is turned, Crystal stares at the carriage clock that has been bought as an anniversary present for the Hollambys. A while later, Crystal is given permission to leave and all of the inmates gather on the wing to see her off. It’s a happy goodbye, but Crystal’s smile disappears when she sees that Josh isn’t waiting at the gates for her.

Later that evening, Janine arrives on the wing with her trolley. She goes to Nikki’s cell and gives her a box containing her disguise and some last minute instructions. After lockup, Nikki stuffs a pile of clothes under her blankets and places a dark wig on her pillow to make it look to an observer that she’s asleep in her bed. Then she strips off her clothes and changes into the blonde wig and nurse’s uniform that Janine has left for her.

The party is in full swing when Hollamby arrives with her husband, Bobby in tow. After watching the Hollambys display their ballroom dancing skills on the dance floor, Yvonne comes up with an idea to make the party go off with even more of a bang. She gathers the girls together and suggests that they spike Hollamby’s drink with an ecstasy tablet! Julie J does the honours and slips the pill into Hollamby’s glass of wine. Meanwhile, Dominic arrives at the party and Di, who is showing a lot of flesh in a little black dress, pounces on him almost immediately. Across the room, Yvonne notices that Karen is involved in what looks like a very intense conversation with Fenner. She points this out to Shell and voices her suspicion that Karen and Fenner are sleeping together. After mulling over Yvonne’s suspicions, Shell goes to speak to Karen and tells her that when she accused Fenner of assaulting her she was telling the truth. Karen is surprised by the out-of-the-blue confession but finds that her long-suppressed suspicions are beginning to re-surface. She is decidedly frosty towards Fenner for the rest of the night.

Back on the wing, the guard in charge of the night patrol hands Janine his keys before going off in search of free booze. Janine unlocks Nikki’s cell and then leads her off the wing and to the locker room. Nikki collects Janine’s coat and despite a close call with Di, manages to make her way to the main gate. Luckily, Ken the gate guard is full of bonhomie and beer and, after signing her out, he allows her through the gates and out into the night. Not quite believing her luck, Nikki heads off to catch a bus to Helen’s flat.

At the party, it’s time for the presentation and Karen calls Hollamby and Bobby up onto the stage to receive their anniversary present. Unfortunately, the ecstasy is starting to take effect and Hollamby is more concerned about returning to the dance floor. She hardly bats an eyelid when she opens the present to find a hole-punch instead of a carriage clock. After calling to the band to play another song, she grabs Bobby and erupts onto the dance floor and is soon jigging away like a demented buffalo. Hollamby is forced to vacate the dance floor when an exhausted Bobby pleads for a rest. She gulps down a pint of water and then tries to pull Dominic off for a dance. Bobby decides that his wife is making a spectacle of herself and orders her home. Her response? A V-sign practically up his nostrils! Yvonne, the Julies and Shell watch Bobby storm off, delighted by Hollamby’s E-fuelled antics.

Alone and bored in her room at the hostel, Crystal decides to hit the town. As she leaves we see Hollamby’s carriage clock sitting on a table.

Fenner seems hell-bent on getting Karen drunk. Luckily for her, a passing Shell informs her of how many glasses of wine she’s had already. Karen turns down Fenner’s offer of another drink and also refuses when he asks her to dance. Fenner storms off and is later approached by Shell who teases him about Karen’s lack of interest in him. She’s not happy when Fenner turns round and sneers that Karen has already invited him back to her place for the night.

Helen opens her front door and nearly dies of shock when she sees Nikki standing there. She slams the door in Nikki’s face and then is forced to open it when Nikki starts banging on it, threatening to break it down if Helen doesn’t let her in. Once inside, Helen demands to know how Nikki could possibly put her job in jeopardy by escaping, let alone endanger her chances of appeal. Nikki ignores Helen’s protests and instead, kisses her.

The party is down to the dregs and the girls are gathering together to pour their alcoholic spoils into the pouches in their trousers. Across the room, an ecstatic Di manages to persuade Dominic to share a taxi home with her. Noticing that Hollamby is in no fit state to drive home, Karen offers to give her a lift and then tells Fenner that afterwards she plans on returning to her own home…alone. Once again, Fenner storms off. Hollamby however still wants to party and protests when Karen tries to lead her out to a waiting taxi. In the struggle, Hollamby staggers and falls over, bringing down the table the girls have set aside to collect their illicit stash. Karen manages to pick Hollamby up and then orders the girls back to their cells. None of them are very happy with Hollamby.

Nikki and Helen are lying together in bed. It’s all too much for Nikki and she begins to sob as Helen comforts her. However, it’s not long before reality comes back to haunt them and, after she notices Helen trying to conceal a letter that is lying on her beside table, Nikki is told that the letter is bad news from Claire, her solicitor.

The taxi arrives at Di’s house. Di invites Dominic in for a coffee, he agrees but just as they are about to enter the house he hears Di’s bedridden mother calling for her and decides to take a rain-check. Di storms into the house and after shouting at her mother, goes upstairs to find solace in her bedroom. Di’s bedroom can only be described as a McAllister shrine. His missing passport and photos, his name badge and even one of his biker gloves are all collected on her dressing-table. On the mirror, Dominic’s name is spelt out in red, capital letters.

Back in her cell, Yvonne dips a mug into her trouser stash. Wiping it carefully with a tissue, she turns and before a drop passes her lips, she spots the photo of Charlie pinned above her bed and throws the booze over it.

Crystal returns to the hostel to find that it has been locked up for the night. Josh arrives having been given Crystal’s new address by Denny. Crystal shows Josh that she’s been wearing his engagement ring on a necklace around her neck. He asks her to come with him back to his house and they embrace before walking off into the night.

Helen and Nikki share a bottle of vodka as they discuss the news that Nikki’s request for an appeal has been turned down. Helen tries her best to remain positive but Nikki insists that she can’t face the prospect of spending the rest of her life in prison. She tries to persuade Helen to run away with her. Helen does her best to try and talk Nikki out of it but to no avail. In the end, she agrees to phone for a taxi while Nikki returns to the bedroom to get dressed. Once alone, Helen walks over to the phone, picks it up and dials 999.

Back at the prison, Fenner lets himself into Shell’s cell. She tells him that she misses him and before long they are lying on her bunk kissing. With Fenner occupied, Shell reaches under her mattress and pulls out a broken glass.


Hollamby – “I hope you appreciate how many prison officers it takes to give you and your gangster husband this treat.”
Yvonne – “Is that your basic grade prison officer like yourself Sylvia?”

Shell – “Ain’t you told your old man to sling his hook yet?”
Yvonne – “Eh?”
Shell – “Well I would if he’d done the dirty on me.”
Yvonne – “It’s called love, you don’t break up a marriage on the say so of a tart.”
Shell – “She seemed to know him pretty well, especially when she said about that scar.”
Yvonne – “You’ll have a scar if you don’t piss off!”

Fenner – (To Helen after noticing the bandage on Nikki’s hand) Looks like it’ll be a while before she gets it up for you love!”

Hollamby – “That’s her well and truly sorted!”
Bobby – “I’m just priming my musket Sylv.”

Yvonne – “’Ere, I thought we’d give old Bodybag a present for her anniversary.”
Julie S – “Eh?”
Julie J – “I’m not giving that old cow nuffing!”
Yvonne – “That’s a pity, I was gonna slip her an E!”
Shell – “What? A whole one? She’ll go up like a soddin’ rocket!”

Bobby – “I’m exhausted.”
Hollamby – “Well that’s nothing new.”
Bobby – “Sylvia!”
Hollamby – “There’s always some excuse; too tired, sore back. He says it’s carrying the coffins, I think its something wrong in the waterworks department if you know what I mean.”

Nikki – “Don’t worry, I’m not going to get caught.”
Helen – “You’re completely mad!”
Nikki – “I love you. When I thought I’d pissed you off I didn’t know how I could live. And then I got this chance, I just want to make the most of it. We’ve got a whole night together.”
Helen – “No Nikki, this is not the way.”
Nikki – “Tell me you love me.”

Helen – “I love you Nikki.”
Nikki – “Enough to give everything up for me?”
Helen – “You know how much.”
Nikki – “I’m not going back to that prison Helen, not after this.”

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