Series 2, Episode 5


Written by Maureen Chadwick
Produced by Brian Park
Directed by Laurence Moody

Air Date: 2nd May, 2000

A prison van arrives in the yard. As the new influx of inmates is allowed out of the van, we see an older woman screaming and banging on the walls. Hollamby and Di learn from Fenner that one of the new arrivals is ‘Mad’ Tessa Spall, a lifer who bit the ear off a prison officer at Newby, her last prison. She is also HIV positive. Hollamby and the others assume that the hysterical woman is Tessa and take her straight down the block to be sedated by Dr Nicholson. In fact, the hysterical woman is first time inmate Barbara Hunt. Tessa spots the mix-up and assumes Barbara’s identity; she is processed and taken straight to G-Wing.

Fenner agrees to arrange a private visit for Yvonne and her husband in exchange for cash. He comes up with a plan to prepare the ground and tells Yvonne that she will soon be receiving a phone call from the hospital telling her that Charlie has been diagnosed with liver cancer. He also tells her that no third parties are to be involved in the handover of the money; he’ll call Charlie personally and arrange a pick-up. Yvonne is hard at work stuffing envelopes with the other inmates when the call comes through; she leaves the room to take it and then breaks down in front of the others when she reveals the bad news. Later, Yvonne is taken to a private room to await Charlie’s arrival. After a warm reunion, Yvonne tells Charlie that she’s concerned by the way Fenner is insisting on calling the shots and that she fears he can’t be trusted. Charlie tells Yvonne not to worry, it sounds to him like a certain Principal Officer needs putting in his place.

Karen is up to her eyes in budgets when Hollamby interrupts her. She is appalled when Hollamby informs her that Tessa Spall is one of Larkhall’s new arrivals – it appears that they had a run-in when Karen worked a short stint at Newby. Worried by the news, Karen confides in old friend and group therapist Meg Richards who advises her to be extremely careful and not to be left alone with Tessa for even the briefest of seconds.

Shell decides to welcome the new girl to the wing in her own inimitable style. When “Barbara” refuses to tell her what she is in for, Shell tells her that she needs to learn some manners. The last thing she expects is the new girl to pin her up against the cell door with a tray at her throat. Nikki hears the commotion and forces her way into the cell, thinking that Shell is bullying the new arrival. She is completely nonplussed when she finds Shell cleaning up “Barbara’s” spilt dinner.

Nikki is working on the flower beds when “Barbara” decides to have a go at her. Nikki tells her that she’s not interested but “Barbara” kicks her viciously. When Nikki retaliates, the officers rush over and “Barbara” claims innocence. Aware of Nikki’s history, Karen agrees with Fenner that she should be moved back down to basic as a punishment. Fenner then suggests that Yvonne should be moved up to the now vacant cell on enhanced, when Hollamby backs him up, Karen agrees that Nikki and Yvonne should do a straight swap. As she is brought back down to basic, Dominic advises Nikki to speak to Karen about what really happened with “Barbara” but she refuses, unsurprised that the other officers chose to believe a “headcase” over her. Dominic is troubled by this and heads straight down the block. Dominic asks the hysterical woman her name and finally discovers that she is the real Barbara Hunt. When he returns to the wing to find out that Tessa is already with Karen, he raises the alarm.

Di arrives to take “Barbara” for her induction but before they leave, she returns to her cell on the pretext of collecting a notebook and draws some blood out of her arm with a syringe. Karen is so busy with her budgets that she doesn’t look up at “Barbara” until Di has gone and is stunned when she recognises Tessa Spall. When Karen tries to go for the phone, Tessa threatens her with the syringe.

Tessa makes it clear that she harbours a very big grudge against Karen for separating her from Debbie, her girlfriend and cellmate at Newby. Alerted by Dominic, Fenner bursts into Karen’s office but is halted by the sight of Tessa holding a syringe full of HIV infected blood against the wing governor’s neck. Tessa tells Fenner to open the corridor gates and then hand over his keys. Tessa then forces Karen down the corridor and to the gate house where Karen claims she needs to collect her car keys. The guard at the gate lodge tries his best to stall Tessa before being forced to hand over his own car keys. He unlocks the gate but Karen stalls Tessa again. Fenner and Dominic arrive in the nick of time with a fire hose which they turn on Tessa. Karen breaks free and Tessa is carried off to the block.

Nikki returns to her new cell to find Barbara already installed. Nikki is not impressed with the new arrangement – she’s a lifer and doesn’t share – but Hollamby tells her that she’ll have to learn to be sociable; Barbara is claustrophobic and the order to put her in with Nikki came straight from Karen.

Zandra is still mooning around with a permanent headache. Dominic is concerned and speaks to Dr Nicholson who is totally unsympathetic, telling him that Zandra refused a blood test when she saw him. He’s convinced that the headaches have been caused by her drug habit and refuses to prescribe her with any form of pain relief. Later, she faints on the floor of her cell.

Fenner has decided that the golf course is the safest place to collect his money. Whilst Fenner is lining up a shot, Charlie Atkins leaves an envelope in his club bag. When Charlie is gone, Fenner is photographed checking the envelope and then pocketing the money inside it.

Quotes

Dominic – “I’m going to see if I can talk to her after lunch, when she’s come round a bit.”
Hollamby – “Am I the only one fond of my two ears in this place?”

Shell – “How come everyone’s all over Atkins all of a sudden?”
Denny – “You know why.”
Shell – “I didn’t get no sympathy when my Charlie died.”
Denny – “He was a canary.”

Shell – “So what I thought I’d do right, is I’d bake him a cake and put rat-poison in it, ‘cause he’s a rat right?”
Zandra – “Is that what you did?”
Shell – “No, ‘cause then what I thought is I’d make him jealous instead – I’d shag his best friend.”
Meg – “So you did that instead?”
Shell – “Well no, ‘cause this is my problem right…when it came down to it, I couldn’t bring myself to.”
Meg – “Why?”
Shell – “’Cause he was a dog!”
Meg – “You mean he was ugly?”
Shell – “No, Alsatian.”

Dominic – “I was going to ask, has she got a nickname?”
Hollamby – “Yes, mad!”

Yvonne – “I’m really sorry about this Nikki.”
Nikki – “Not your fault Fenner’s a complete bastard.”

Dominic – “Why are you being so stupid about this? If it really wasn’t your fault why don’t you go and see Miss Betts and tell her what really happened out there?”
Nikki – “Forget it, what for? A few extra quid and a duvet? It’s all shit.”

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