Series 2, Episode 6

Written by Martin Allen
Produced by Brian Park
Directed by Jim O’Hanlon

Air Date: 9th May, 2000

Hollamby finds herself on the receiving end of a severe reprimand from Karen who holds her solely responsible for the Tessa Spall mix-up. When accused of not really caring about her job or the Prison Service, Hollamby concedes that her neck injury may be the cause of her being a bit under par. Karen suggests that a fitness programme may well be the solution to Hollamby’s problems and sets about arranging it. Later, the inmates can’t believe their eyes when they see a personal trainer putting a shell-suited Hollamby through her paces in the gym.

After her fainting fit, Zandra is sent to see Dr Nicholson again. He tells her that she has low blood pressure and that her eyesight is poor. Zandra is gutted when she is told she needs to wear glasses and tells Dominic that there’s no way she would be seen dead wearing them. Dominic is relieved that Zandra’s condition isn’t serious but is concerned when she informs him that she’s given up drugs for him.

Nikki is still getting to know her new cellmate and is surprised to learn that Barbara was imprisoned for manslaughter after helping her terminally ill husband to commit suicide. Initially, the two women seem to be getting on but that quickly changes when Fenner and Shell decide to make a few snide comments about Nikki’s sexuality. An uncomfortable Barbara later goes to Fenner and asks to be moved to a different cell. Fenner takes this as another excuse to wind Nikki up and tells her to keep her hands to herself in future. Barbara is appalled by Fenner’s insensitivity and tries to apologise but Nikki is livid and doesn’t want to know.

Josh is still continuing to pursue Crystal’s affections and tries to find out more about her. He tells her about his house in Acton and offers her a place to stay when she is released. Crystal isn’t sure about this but does tell him that he can take her out to Kew Gardens. Later, Josh finds Crystal in the kitchen and gives her a gold crucifix.

In the group therapy session, Zandra informs Meg that she’s decided to stop taking drugs and mentions her personal officer. Meg warns her that she has to do it for herself otherwise she’ll never succeed. After hearing this, Shell starts to complain that women are always doing stuff for men and goes on to describe nightmares about men coming into her room at night. She seems quite disturbed by reliving the nightmares and the following morning she wakes up in a sweat.

The next group therapy session has already started when Shell turns up looking like Baby Spice on acid with her hair and make-up all over the place. When Meg questions her appearance, she jumps up onto the table and acts out a scene in which dirty old men ogle her on the tube. At the end of the session, Meg talks to Shell one-to-one and it becomes clear that she was sexually abused from a very young age. Afterwards, Meg updates Karen on her progress and warns her that Shell needs to be handled sympathetically otherwise she might blow. Later, at lock-up, Dominic tries to get Shell to go to her cell but she kicks off, calling all of the male officers perverts. Karen intervenes and tries to calm Shell down, telling her that she might be able to get her job back in the kitchen. Shell welcomes this news for all the wrong reasons – she would have access to a knife to kill Fenner! The following day, the male officers continue to receive a hard time from the inmates.

Shell corners Barbara and orders her to steal a marker pen from the art room. A terrified Barbara does as she is told and then looks on in horror as Shell uses the pen to draw a moustache on her own face before writing “Fenner is a rapist” on the wall. Luckily for Barbara, a passing Nikki sees the whole thing and later, when Shell accuses Barbara of writing the graffiti, puts Karen right. Shell is taken down the block.

Hollamby and Fenner can’t believe their eyes when they recognise Nikki’s visitor – Helen! As they look on in amazement, Helen tries to persuade Nikki to appeal against her sentence. Nikki is sceptical at first but eventually caves in. A few days later, Nikki is delighted when she finds out that Helen has a new job at Larkhall as part of a new programme for women lifers’ – a job which will enable her to help Nikki with her appeal.

Karen talks to Shell and finds out that she was sexually abused by her father from a very young age and that her mother knew about it. Shell’s kids are now living with her mother and she is worried that they might be at risk. She breaks down and Karen comforts her. Later, she tells Fenner that Shell is to be allowed back on the wing, she also informs him that she’s decided to stop the therapy sessions.

Hollamby tells Karen that the fitness programme has put back her recovery, to such an extent that the doctor has put her back into her surgical collar. Karen isn’t convinced but has no choice but to put Hollamby on light duties. Then Fenner comes across something very interesting in the newspaper – a shot of Hollamby and her husband, Bobby in a recent ballroom dancing competition! Karen is livid when Fenner shows her the clipping and reinstates Hollamby’s fitness programme.

Karen arrives on the wing just before lock-up to hear a scream from Denny. Everyone looks up to see Shell standing on the G2 landing. She’s dressed in a sheet with a noose made of knotted tights tied around her neck.


Shell – “New girlfriend Wade? Who goes on top, you or her?”
Nikki – “Shut it Dockley.”
Shell – (To Barbara) You haven’t got a clue what’s going on have you?”
Barbara – “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”
Shell – “Well if you can’t work it out for yourself darlin’, just keep your knickers on after dark that’s all.”
Barbara – “What?”
Shell – “Lesbo ain’t she.”

Hollamby – “Oooh and the hours I work. It’s more like the Burma railway than an English prison.”

Barbara – “I just said I was nervous about sharing a cell with a…”
Nikki – “A dyke?”
Barbara – “I didn’t mention that word. He had no right to say those things to you, I feel terrible now!”
Nikki – “Good! Now you know how I feel. I hope you get your move…maybe you’ll get put in with Dockley, or how does a junkie sound, jacking up every night in the bunk opposite? That make you feel safer?”
Barbara – “I’m really sorry Nikki.”
Nikki – “I don’t care darlin’, I’ll be happy to be on my own again. Oh, and as for fancying you…get real! Even if I was available I wouldn’t touch it with a cattle-prod!”

Shell – “What kind of man works in a women’s prison anyway? Sick pervs that’s what! Can’t pull on the outside so you come inside for easy pickings.”

Crystal – “Dockley’s lost it man. She’s mad.”
Denny – “I don’t think she’s mad.”
Zandra – “You should’ve seen her in the therapy group – she was wearing this tiny little skirt, practically frigging herself.”

Hollamby – “Shell Dockley’s not just playing up! That group therapy’s deranged her!”
Karen – “She was deranged a long time ago.”

Shell – “Oi Babs! You do art don’t you? I want a black marker pen.”
Barbara – “We’re not allowed to take them.”
Shell – “Do you want me to rip your tits off and make curry out of them?”

Dominic – “See you later Groucho!”
Zandra – “Piss off!”

Karen – “If I see you in that neck-brace again I’ll rip it off and stick it where the sun don’t shine!”

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