Series 2, Episode 9

Written by Jayne Hollinson
Produced by Brian Park
Directed by Mike Adams

Air Date: 30th May, 2000

The Julies encounter Josh in the exercise yard. He is hurt and angry and can’t understand why Crystal was caught in the possession of drugs. The Julies explain that Crystal did it on purpose because she wanted to stay with Zandra. Josh storms off, convinced that Crystal doesn’t care about him or his plans for their future. Zandra speaks to Dominic, he’s glad she chose to stay at Larkhall, and when pain overcomes her, he helps her back inside.

Fenner is furious when he is given the job of helping Shell to move back up to a cell on enhanced. Things seems to be getting back to normal for Shell and she revels in the attention she receives from the other inmates as she receives a Babes Behind Bars call for “Olga the Russian screw”. Denny tells Zandra that she should give it a go too but when they are thinking of a name for her, she is unable to recall a word and her vision blurs.

Crystal returns from the block. She sees Josh who is still angry that she chose Zandra over him. He leaves the engagement ring with her, saying it’s no good to him and that he’s leaving Larkhall for good. Crystal is still staring at the ring after lock-up when Zandra asks to climb into bed with her. When Zandra tells her that she doesn’t want to die, Crystal comforts her by telling her that dying will be like leaving prison forever and that God will take care of her. Crystal listens on in silence as Zandra recites a childhood prayer.

The following day, Dominic visits Zandra in her cell, concerned about her attack the day before. Zandra tells him how much he’s helped her and that sometimes she daydreams about how things could have been between them after her release. Zandra kisses him and he returns it briefly before saying sorry. Later, a troubled Dominic confides in Nikki, he feels that he’s too close to Zandra and that maybe he should stand down as her personal officer. Nikki disagrees, telling him that it’s more important for Zandra to have a little love at the end and that he shouldn’t beat himself up about it.

Shell watches Barbara go for her breakfast and, while she’s occupied, sneaks into her cell and ransacks it, looking for her diary. Barbara returns to her cell to find Shell reading her diary. She asks for it back but Shell refuses and takes it up to her cell to read at her leisure. Barbara can’t report the theft because the diary contains her private thoughts about the officers. Nikki advises Barbara to take Shell on as soon as possible or run the risk of Shell making her life a misery.

Just before lockup, the girls gather in the dorm and enjoy miniature bottles of alcohol supplied by Yvonne. Shell starts to wind Barbara up by reciting passages from her diary in which she makes ill-advised comments about Nikki, Zandra and the Julies. Nikki leaps to Barbara’s defence, telling Shell that her information is out of date. Barbara maintains that she made the comments before she got to know everyone; the only person she hasn’t changed her mind about is Shell who is “a psychopath…cruel and spiteful”. Realising that the rest of the women are turning against her, Shell threatens Barbara and is ordered to leave the party by Zandra. The party gets more raucous when Julie S receives a call from a punter who wants her to make sheep noises. In the midst of all the jollity, Zandra suffers a fatal fit.

Denny and Crystal sort through Zandra’s things which include a letter addressed to Crystal. At the memorial service, Barbara is to play the organ but when she lifts the lid, she finds the words “Your funeral next” written on the keys in lipstick. Dominic has persuaded Robin to allow baby Robbie to attend the service and his appearance causes a few tears. There are more tears and smiles when Crystal reads Zandra’s letter out to the congregation, especially when she requests that the Larkhall Gospel Tabernacle Choir are reformed for one last rendition of ‘Kum by ah’ just to annoy Hollamby!

During the memorial service, a new inmate, Shaz Wylie arrives and is taken to the dorm by Di. Shaz seems rather excited about the prospect of prison, especially the weekly karaoke. Denny takes an immediate shine to Shaz and warns Shell off when she suggests that they should strip-search the newcomer. The following day, Shell is gobsmacked to learn that Shaz is in for triple murder.

Seeing baby Robbie has left Julie J depressed. She tells Julie S that she missed her kids growing up and that now it feels like she’s lost them for good. Julie S tells her to start again from scratch and have another baby.

Dr Nicholson makes a rather ill-advised appearance on the wing and Crystal lays into him about Zandra. As Di holds her back, she spits in his face and tells him that he’ll burn in hell for what he has done. Crystal is once again returned to the block where she is left alone to mourn the death of her best friend.

Nikki tells Barbara that it’s time she stood up to Shell once and for all. Barbara reluctantly agrees and goes up to Shell’s cell to ask for her diary back while Nikki waits outside. When Shell attacks Barbara she cries out and Nikki, knowing that another black mark on her record could scupper her chances of appeal, is forced to walk away. Things begin to look dire for Barbara but then Shell makes the mistake of mentioning her late husband. Barbara is enraged and throws Shell against the wall. Shell clutches her arm in pain while Barbara takes her diary and leaves.


Dominic – “I shouldn’t have done that…sorry.”
Zandra – “Don’t be…at least one of my dreams came true.”

Crystal – “We’re holding a prayer meeting for Zandra.”
Shell – “Forget it! I ain’t sitting around talking to a load of fresh air. Anyway, if there was a God he wouldn’t’ve given her a bleedin’ brain tumour, would he?”

Denny – “Maybe they’re making it all up.”
Zandra – “What?”
Denny – “About the brain tumour – trying to teach you a lesson ‘cause you’re a smackhead – I wouldn’t put it past those bastards.”
Zandra – “Well Denny…be sure to knock on my coffin yeah? Just in case I’m having you on.”

Julie S – “’Ere Jue, me phone’s vibrating.”
Nikki – “I think I’m going to get one of those.”

Shell – “Well I’m going back to my cell now; see if I can remember where I hid that nice, sharp razor blade.”
Nikki – “Dockley, do us all a favour; when you find it, use it on yourself.”

Shell – “So what you in here for anyway? Nicking gob-stoppers?”
Shaz – “Triple murder.”

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