Series 3, Episode 11

Written by Jaden Clark
Produced by Brian Park
Directed by Jim O’Hanlon

Air Date: 29th May, 2001


Hollamby is back at work and everyone is surprised that she has recovered so quickly from her night of terror at the hands of Shell and Denny. It does however look like she might walk straight out again when she is informed that not only has Helen has been made governing governor, but that Fenner is on holiday with Karen and Di is off on compassionate leave. Helen has gotten Hollamby’s measure by now and makes her temporary Principal Officer in Fenner’s absence, hoping that the extra responsibility will mean that she’s too busy to stir up any trouble.

Helen informs Charlotte that she will be moved to an open prison later that day. After discovering how close the open prison is to Charlotte’s parent’s house, Helen has become convinced that someone has been pulling some rather long strings. Yvonne is sad to see Charlotte go and the two share a tearful goodbye.

The Peckham Boot Gang, Maxi, Al and Tina, arrive on the wing and immediately start making their presence felt. They get up Hollamby’s and Gina’s noses without even trying as they are assigned to their cell. Al is taken to the dorm where she takes an immediate dislike to Shaz. She slashes Shaz’s face with a plastic fork before asking Maxi’s permission to sort her out properly. Maxi’s first priority however is to work out who is G-Wing’s top-dog. After a brief altercation between Yvonne and Al on the landing, it doesn’t take Maxi long enough to work out who is the person she should be worried about.

Nikki and the Julies are concerned about Femi, a Nigerian national who’s in for drug smuggling. The poor woman can’t speak a word of English and is having a hard time settling down on the wing. After finding out that Femi is worried about her six children who are now on their own back in Nigeria, Nikki goes to Helen for help only to be fobbed off. Later, Helen informs Thomas of her concerns for Femi’s well-being and asks him to speak to her. Femi returns from her session from Thomas to find that Nikki, the Julies and Yvonne have clubbed together to provide enough phonecards for her to phone home to Nigeria. Unfortunately, Femi receives some bad news over the phone but thanks to the language barrier, she is unable to tell anyone what the problem is.

Femi tries to call home again but has run out of credits on her phonecard. Now desperate to speak to her family, she forces Hollamby off the phone in the officer’s room and tries to ring home from there. Hollamby calls for back-up and before long, two male officers arrive. In plain view of the rest of the wing, they manhandle Femi off the wing and drag her down to the block, punching her continually. Helen is appalled when she sees the bruise on Femi’s face, but when she manages to find a Nigerian translator to ask her how she was injured, she is told that Femi doesn’t want to cause any trouble, she just wants to see her children again.

Buki is recruited by the PBG, they want her to lure Shaz into the laundry room later that night with the promise of illicit alcohol so that Al can give her a good kicking. Luckily for Shaz, Yvonne overhears the conversation and makes sure that she arrives in the laundry room before Shaz and Buki. Yvonne beats Al up and warns her to stay away from Shaz in the future. She returns to her cell looking extremely shaken.

Nikki confronts Helen about the officer’s poor treatment of Femi and demands to be allowed to see her. Helen, rather uncharacteristically, tells Nikki to mind her own business before storming off. Nikki and the other girls are now really worried about Femi and decide to protest against the treatment she has received. Their peaceful, sit-down protest turns into a full-scale riot when a squad of officers arrive in force. The PBG lead the charge up to G3 but Nikki and the others stay on G1 to fight the POs until Hollamby sounds the retreat. With the officers gone, the inmates take over the whole wing.

Having been told by Hollamby that Nikki started the riot, Helen arrives on the wing for a confrontation. She refuses to give in to Nikki’s demands that she discipline the POs who attacked Femi and provide some proof of her well-being. Helen’s assurance that Femi is well and refuses to make a complaint against any of G-Wing’s officers isn’t good enough for Nikki and she continues to hold her ground. Bored by the stalemate, the PBG decide to re-light the fuse by tipping a mug of water over Helen’s head. Helen calls the POs into retreat as the inmates start throwing the contents of their cells onto the safety netting.

Maxi and Al break into the servery and tool themselves and the other inmates up with knives. Al instructs the other inmates in the art of knife-fighting until she is disarmed easily by a new inmate, Caroline Lewis. Caroline warns Maxi and the others of what the consequences would be for stabbing a PO and manages to convince them to return the knives to the cabinet. Nikki looks on in admiration as Caroline disappears back upstairs.

Later that night, the PBG congregate in Maxi’s cell. Tina and Al congratulate Maxi on a job well done and celebrate the fact that Maxi has significantly increased her profile amongst the other inmates. Maxine however knows that there is one person she’ll have to sort out before she can completely take over the wing – Yvonne.


Julie S – “We’re gonna cook you some grub you can eat tonight love.”
Julie J – “Yeah, only we’ve got no yams…”
Julie S – “So they’re gonna use ‘Smash’ instead.”

Hollamby – “If I see you chewing like a prize Friesian again I’ll have you down the block.”

Shaz – “That ain’t fair! Why can’t I be moved to an open prison?”
Buki – “’Cause you’re a mass murderer stupid!”

Yvonne – “Oi!”
Al – “Aye? What’s your problem?”
Yvonne – “Well, when you barge into someone like that it’s usual to apologise.”
Al – “Must have been my mistake…hen.”
Yvonne – “Oh, very nearly was…cock.”

Gina – “You gonna shut it Wade or what?”
Nikki – “I want to see her!”
Gina – “Yeah? Well I want Ricky Martin in my shower every morning but life’s a bitch like that.”

Gina – “She was out of control, they had to restrain her.”
Helen – “What with, size nines?”

Nikki – “Listen you stupid bitches. Why don’t you stop messing about before someone gets killed?”
Maxi – “Watch out everyone, its head bloody prefect!”

Caroline – “First rule of self-defence – never use a weapon an assailant can turn back on you. Then of course, if one of you sticks a screw, do you think it’s worth the extra stretch? And be sure of a long stay down in solitary where no-one can hear you scream.”

Helen – “We pull back and identify the ring-leaders.”
Hollamby – “We know who the ring-leader is…Nikki Wade.”

Nikki – “Have you been on G-Wing long?”
Caroline – “A couple of weeks.”
Nikki – “Only I’ve not noticed you before.”
Caroline – “Oh…well I’ve definitely noticed you.”

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