Series 3, Episode 13
Written by Jayne Hollinson
Produced by Brian Park
Directed by Laurence Moody
Air Date: 12th June, 2001
The Julies are questioned by the police about the wallets they stole from clients whilst working at the ‘Seventh Heaven’ massage parlour. Several of the clients have come forward and made complaints about the thefts. In separate interview rooms, both Julies deny everything until they are told that a friend of theirs has turned Queen’s evidence. Of course, both Julies think that this means the other Julie has decided to grass, which of course if what the police want them to think, and start singing like canaries. Before long, they are both on their way back to Larkhall.
Al is taking her bullying of Shaz to new levels of viciousness. Shaz is fast becoming to realise that she’s taken all that she can and confides in Yvonne, begging for her to help. Yvonne refuses, telling Shaz that she has to learn to stand on her own two feet otherwise she’ll be an easy target for the rest of her life. After the PBG bully her into giving up her precious “yard girl” job, Shaz goes to see Helen and asks to be moved onto the lifers’ unit – a single cell on G3 might help to keep her out of the PBG’s way, at least for some of the time.
Di arrives back from compassionate leave. After Fenner helped her to cover up the circumstances behind her mother’s injuries, she decided to place her in a home. She is celebrating her new found freedom with make-up and a new haircut and is gratified by the appreciative response she receives from most of the male POs, with the exception of Josh who continues to shun her. Gina wastes no opportunity to tease Di about her non-existent relationship with Josh. Angry and humiliated, Di gets her own back by ruining Gina’s make-up and then by rubbishing her reputation by gossiping about her behind her back.
The Julies are surprised when they bump into their old employer, wheelchair-bound brothel Madame Virginia O’Kane. Julie S is quick to realise that it was Virginia who turned Queen’s evidence, not Julie J and before long, the Julies are back to being the best of friends. Although the Julies are hostile towards Virginia at first, they begin to feel sorry for her when they hear that she has muscular dystrophy, a wasting disease for which there is no cure.
Di goes for a drink in the officer’s club after work and strikes lucky when she comes across Gina’s boyfriend, Mark Waddle. Di takes advantage of the fact that Gina has abandoned him in favour of an aerobics lesson and talks him in to having a drink with her. Before long, Mark is drunk and, before he realises what is happening, is having sex with Di in the men’s toilets. Mark emerges from the toilets and runs straight into Gina who has returned from aerobics. Di is furious when she sees them leaving together.
Virginia is assigned to share a cell with Barbara who is appalled that a woman in her condition has been sent to prison, especially seeing as Larkhall has no provisions for disabled inmates. There are no wheelchair ramps or any other special equipment and G-Wing’s officers, and fellow inmates struggle to take care of Virginia’s needs.
Di gives Mark the impression that Gina is getting on rather too well with Josh and, after seeing them laughing together, Mark throws a jealous tantrum and dumps Gina. Di is ecstatic, well, that is until she tries it on with Mark again and he tells her to get lost. Later, Mark apologises to Gina and asks her to move in with him. Di is livid when she finds out that Gina and Mark are back together and, to get her own back on him, makes sure that Gina finds out about their drunken night in the officer’s club toilets. Gina is heartbroken and demands to know how Mark could do something like that to her, especially as she’s just found out that she’s having his baby.
Fenner waits until Virginia is in the exercise yard before searching the cell she’s sharing with Barbara. Virginia is frantic when she returns to find that the precious book containing her client list is missing. Fenner appears with the book, he knows how important it is that the client list doesn’t fall into the wrong hands and offers Virginia a deal. He’ll take care of her businesses for her while she’s inside in return for half of the profits.
Hollamby – “She doesn’t know when she’s well off. My Bobby’s idea of a romantic gesture is to take his socks off before he gets into bed.”
Hollamby – “Don’t blame me if I’m off work tomorrow.”
Julie S – “Well that’s one good thing to come out of this anyway.”
Hollamby – “She’s never coming on to G-Wing.”
Karen – “Yes Sylvia she is. Now, as some of you may be aware, she’s disabled.”
Hollamby – “You don’t have to tell me, I had to lift her into bed. My Bobby spent all night rubbing balsam into my back.”
Gina – “Pick up a few tips from one of her parlours did he?”
Yvonne – (To the Julies) “You two got no sense of direction? The exit’s that way.”
Al – “O’Kane’s nothing but a bleedin’ shag-bag!”
Maxi – “Yeah, that’s probably how she lost the use of her legs, she wrapped ‘em around that many geezers.”
Barbara – “Can’t you show any respect?”
Virginia – “Don’t worry darling I didn’t understand a word. I don’t suppose there’s that much call for elocution lessons when you’ve been dragged up in the slums.”
Di – “I’m here if you need to talk. In fact, maybe we could go for a drink.”
Mark – “Now why would I want to do that?”
Di – “Because we’re friends…in fact, we’re more than that. If you need cheering up…”
Mark – “I’d rather have a wank.”
Virginia – “Would you like a chocolate Mrs Hollamby? Oh no, of course not, I expect you’re having to watch your weight aren’t you?”
Virginia – (About Hollamby) “You know what that woman needs? An orgasm.”