Series 3, Episode 4


Written by Martin Allen
Produced by Brian Park
Directed by Laurence Moody

Air Date: 10th April, 2001

Synopsis

Mrs Barker is terrified when she wakes to find Di sitting on the end of her bed. Mrs Barker is now sporting a cut on her lip and protests at Di’s treatment of her. She is cowed when Di threatens to put her into a nursing home. At Larkhall, Di is discovered in tears by a concerned Josh. He is sympathetic when she tells him that she has just been dumped by her boyfriend and suggests that she find someone else to help take her mind off him. Di watches Josh leave the room with a thoughtful look. Could she have found another target for her obsession?

New officer Gina Rossi is summoned to Karen’s office. It appears that Gina has recently been transferred from D-Wing after slapping an inmate she thought was trying to come on to her boyfriend and D-Wing colleague, Mark Waddle. Karen warns Gina that she doesn’t want any trouble on G-Wing and that she’ll be keeping a very close eye on her. Hollamby is appalled when she finds out about Gina’s transfer, not only does Gina have a short-temper; she also has no respect for senior officers.

Barbara is expecting a visit from her stepchildren. Although their relationship has always been strained, Barbara hopes that they’re visiting her in order to bury the hatchet, having finally come to terms with the fact that she wasn’t responsible for their father’s death. Unfortunately, Barbara couldn’t be any more wrong – livid when they found out that their father left all of his money to Barbara, her stepchildren, Greg and Amanda, have hired a private detective to poke around in her life. They have discovered that there is no record of Barbara’s divorce from her first husband, Arthur Roper. After discovering that Arthur has since died, they are now convinced that their father, Peter, wasn’t Barbara’s first victim.

Yvonne has arranged for a visit from the male escort agency Nikki put her in contact with. While Yvonne waits in a private room, an extremely suspicious Hollamby escorts her “solicitor” from the gate. Later, Hollamby returns to the visiting room to check that all is as it should be. Luckily, Yvonne has predicted such an interruption and all Hollamby sees is Yvonne and her “solicitor” discussing a letter. As soon as the coast is clear, the two get down to “business”. Hollamby takes her suspicions to Karen who instructs her to keep a close eye on Yvonne in future.

Barbara is extremely upset and Nikki and Yvonne rally round her. Yvonne’s offer to send someone to “visit” Greg and Amanda is politely refused. Meanwhile, Shell, Denny, Shaz and the Julies decide to wage a campaign of intimidation against Greg and Amanda. While Shaz, Denny and Shell make threatening phone calls, the Julies have fun coming up with insults that rhyme with Hunt for their anonymous letters. Greg and Amanda report the phone calls to the police and its not long before Karen catches Shaz and Denny making another phone call. In a rare act of heroism, Shaz and Denny take sole responsibility for the intimidation campaign. Karen throws the book at them, adding forty-two days to the end of their sentences. Poor Barbara is furious when she hears about the phone calls. She fears that the gang’s actions will ruin any chance she has of appealing against her sentence.

The following day, the police arrive to interview Barbara. Now that they’ve been presented with evidence of Barbara’s bigamy, they are convinced that she married Peter for the three and a half million pounds he left in his will. They feel that there is now enough evidence to retry Barbara for murder and have forwarded her case to the CPS. Karen relays this information to G-Wing’s officers who are all stunned. Meanwhile, Barbara confides in Nikki and is upset when her cellmate refuses to have anything more to do with her – how can she continue to be friends with someone who has lied to her? Later, Hollamby announces Barbara’s shock news to the other inmates, taking great delight in their hostile reaction. Only Gina’s quick reactions save Barbara from violent retribution.

Now that Josh has sparked her interest, Di is keen to help him to better himself. She has noticed his rapport with the inmates and thinks that he would make an excellent prison officer. Despite initial scepticism, she manages to convince Josh to think about the idea.

Yvonne receives another “legal” visit and is shocked when she discovers that the man waiting see her is actually a real solicitor. Charlie’s solicitor, Ian Ravenscroft in fact! With the prospect of his trial looming, Charlie has decided to make Yvonne an offer – if she takes the blame for the twenty kilos of cocaine the police found in their house, he will set her up financially for life. Yvonne doesn’t think much of this plan but tells Ravenscroft that she will think about it. He gives her a pendant and a letter from Charlie. Meanwhile, Hollamby has taken it upon herself to turn up in the visiting room with the DST in tow. Yvonne and Ravenscroft are searched but nothing untoward is found. After proving his legitimacy, Ravenscroft complains about Hollamby and she is summoned to Karen’s office for yet another telling-off.

After managing to talk Nikki around, Barbara begins to work on the rest of the wing. Just before lock-up, she informs everyone that she has been in contact with Monica Lindsey and has given her half a million pounds to fund another halfway house. The inmates are delighted and decide to forgive Barbara, with the obvious exception of Shell though of course.

Di surveys the McAllister shrine for one last time before she scrapes Dominic’s name off her dressing-table mirror and then begins to remove the photographs. She puts the contents of the shrine in a box marked “DOMINIC” and places it in her wardrobe. She reaches for a nearby bottle of nail polish and writes “JOSH” on the mirror.

Quotes

Nikki – “So why are you seeing them?”
Barbara – “Well I’m assuming they’ve got something to tell me.”
Nikki – “What, like piss off and die?”

Yvonne – “Did I tell you that I got a mate on D-Wing who told me that a screw had been transferred here because she’d just had a bust-up with her boyfriend? Is it true that you were moved against your will?”
Gina – “Is it true that you get on everyone’s tits? ‘Cause if it is, we got a problem.”

Hollamby – “Are they still in there?”
Gina – “Unless they’ve blown a wall out and got away by helicopter.”
Hollamby – “Well haven’t you been listening?”
Gina – “I’ve got this thing called a life thank you very much.”
Hollamby – “You know, I’m not convinced he’s a lawyer, he didn’t look devious enough.”

Yvonne – “I know some people who could pay these arseholes a visit if you like.”
Barbara – “They won’t listen to anyone.”
Yvonne – “These people don’t talk Barbara; they pull teeth out, things like that.”

Denny – “Is this Amanda Hunt? She’s suffered enough, just leave her alone bitch!”
Shell – (Grabs the phone when she hears Amanda protesting) Never mind who we are darlin’. If you two sickos don’t leave off Babs we’re gonna come round there and pull your fingernails out…right?”
Amanda – “Is this some kind of joke?”
Shell – “Well we ain’t laughing this end sweetheart, and you won’t be neither when you get a razorblade down your cuticles.”

Julie J – “Dear Miss Hunt…”
Julie S – “You are a…”

Julie J – “If you do not mend your ways…”
Julie S – “We’ll pump cement up your flute-box…”
Julie J – “And dump you out at sea.”
Julie S – “You’ve heard of a concrete overcoat.”
Julie J – “Well this is a concrete undercoat!”

Hollamby – “If that bloke was a lawyer, I’m a jumbo-jet.”

Yvonne – “After what he’s done to me, I wouldn’t trust him any further than I could push him with my piss.”

Hollamby – “Do you think I was born yesterday?”
Yvonne – “Well if he does, he needs glasses.”

Karen – “Another triumph for your softly-softly approach.”
Hollamby – “Well you told me to keep an eye on her ma’am.”
Karen – “I didn’t tell you to put the jackboots on and strip-search the lawyer!”

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