Series 3, Episode 8


Written by Phil Ford
Produced by Brian Park
Directed by Mike Adams

Air Date: 8th May, 2001

Synopsis

Shell and Denny arrive at Kings Cross in a taxi. After doing a runner without paying their fare, they slip into the shadows and locate a drug dealer friend of Denny’s called Gary. He takes an immediate shine to Shell and after she gives him the big come on, gives her the keys to his flat so that she and Denny can lie low there for the night. Once safely ensconced in Gary’s flat, Shell and Denny are incredibly amused to see themselves on the national news. Gary is livid when he arrives home to find Shell and Denny working their way through his cocaine stash, a feeling that soon turns to terror when he discovers that he’s harbouring a convicted murderer. He informs Shell and Denny that he wants them out of his flat first thing in the morning.

As Gina searches Shell’s cell, Stubberfield panics about the press reaction to the escape. He is very quick to lay the blame at the door of the film crew and isn’t beyond suggesting that his golf buddy, Fenner, might have failed in his duties. Meanwhile, Karen is concerned about how her relationship with Fenner might look in the eyes of the Area investigation team. She suggests that they cool things off between them until the investigation is over.

After stealing a shoebox full of money from under Gary’s bed. Shell and Denny don a pair of frightful wigs and set off to even up a few old scores. They go to Hollamby’s house and watch from the bus-stop opposite as Hollamby and Bobby set off to do their shopping in his hearse. As soon as the coast is clear, Shell and Denny break into the house and lie in wait for Hollamby’s return.

After reading the diary that Gina discovered in Shell’s cell, Karen is convinced that the permissiveness of Helen’s lifers’ regime is solely to blame for the escape. However, when the Area investigation team question Helen about the diary she quite logically points out that the key impressions in the bar of soap that was discovered in Shell’s cell prove that she had outside help to plan the escape. Now convinced that the diary was a prop to set Helen up as a scapegoat, the Area team send it away for forensic tests, hoping to prove that all of Shell’s entries were written by the same pen on the same day.

Now dressed in a pair of Hollamby’s spare uniforms, Shell and Denny take great pleasure in exploring her house. They are highly amused when they discover that Bobby keeps the spare coffins for his undertaking business in the garage and decide to use one to give Hollamby the fright of her life when she arrives home from her shopping trip. Hollamby falls into a dead faint when she walks into the garage to investigate a noise only to find Shell popping up out of a coffin like the Bride of Frankenstein. After coming around, Hollamby is locked inside the cupboard under her stairs and forced to listen as Denny locks Bobby out with a golf-club. Bobby is tied to a chair whilst Shell and Denny strip-search Hollamby and then make her dress up in a French maid’s outfit they found in her laundry basket. The Hollamby’s ordeal continues through the night. After being forced to serve her captors cocaine on a silver platter, Sylvia is once again locked up in the cupboard. When Shell and Denny finally tire, they gag Bobby and tie him to the toilet before heading off to bed.

Shaz arrives back on the wing with her ankle in plaster. She is taken to an empty cell and placed on cellular confinement. Fenner goes to question Shaz and is relieved to discover that she knew nothing about Shell’s escape plans and therefore, most importantly, nothing about his involvement. It’s Helen’s turn to speak to Shaz and although Shaz refuses to tell her anything, she does let slip that Denny and Shell are planning a surprise visit to “an old friend”. After hearing from Karen that Hollamby hasn’t turned up for her shift, Helen becomes convinced that Shell and Denny have decided to settle a few old scores. She instructs a sceptical Karen to notify the police.

After discovering signs that Bobby tried to escape during the night, Shell decides to teach him a lesson. She takes him down to the garage and forces him to climb into a coffin. Hollamby is forced to watch on in horror as Shell drenches the coffin in petrol and then sets light to it. Luckily for the Hollambys, the police arrive in the nick of time but still aren’t quick enough to catch Shell and Denny who make their escape in Bobby’s hearse. After parking in a nearby cemetery, Shell and Denny try to work out where they can lie low whilst they organise some false passports.

Crystal receives the shock of her life when she opens her front door to find Shell and Denny standing on her door-step. Even though Josh is away on his PO training course, Crystal refuses to let them stay but is reluctantly persuaded by Denny to allow them to stay for one night. Shell is livid when she overhears Crystal listing her faults to Denny and decides to plant drugs in her bedroom. The following morning, Shell and Denny say their goodbyes. Crystal is relieved until she opens the door to find that this time the police are on her doorstep. After receiving an anonymous tip-off from Shell, they are convinced that Crystal has been harbouring escaped criminals.

Stubberfield is informed that Chris, the documentary soundman, has been charged with aiding and abetting Shell and Denny’s escape thanks to the business card that Fenner planted in Shell’s cell. The team have also come to the conclusion that Stubberfield is the one ultimately responsible for the escape. He is asked to tender his resignation immediately.

After having false passports set up in the names Barbara Hunt and Nicola Wade, Shell and Denny catch a plane to the Costa del Sol.

Quotes

Gina – “Yeah, like she’s really gonna write her escape plans in her diary! (Opens diary) Sunday…must escape.”

Buki – “This ain’t right!”
Gina – “Yeah, and you’re not right either…in the head.”

Gina – “Come on Babs, aren’t you the lucky one? Officer’s tea-duty!”
Barbara – “Well of course, the prisoners may be all banged up in their cells but God forbid the officers should have to make their own tea.”
Gina – “You may be posh Babs but you still got a bog-pan for a gob. Now put the seat down and get on with it.”
Barbara – “Just tell me; why is it that when the screws screw up, the prisoners have to suffer?”
Gina – “Because you broke the law and we didn’t.”

Shell – “Tell me, what was it first made you decide to be an undertaker?”
Denny – “Getting a big car?”
Shell – “Giving the odd bod a poke?”
Bobby – “You’re sick!”

Denny – “Come on Shell, this is getting serious now!”
Shell – “Course it is, cremations ain’t no laughing matter.”

Denny – “You’re a shittin’ nutter Shell! You coulda killed him!”
Shell – “So, I’m a killer ain’t I? I got a reputation to keep up.”

Shell – “Crystal frigging Gordon? Gordon frigging Bennett!”

Shell – “Hope you’ve got your passport, Miss Babs Hunt.”
Denny – “No worries, Miss Nicola Wade.”

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