Series 4, Episode 13

Written by Jaime Caruana
Produced by Claire Phillips
Directed by Di Patrick

Air Date: 23rd May, 2002


New inmate Snowball Merriman is assigned to Shaz’s old cell on G3. When he learns that she’s an actress, Fenner practically falls over himself to volunteer to become Snowball’s personal officer. Knocked sideways by Snowball’s American drawl, long blonde hair and voluptuous figure, Fenner is surprised when he learns that she is an avid reader and plans to make use of the Inter-library Loan Scheme. Ever the opportunist, Fenner offers to try and get Snowball a job in the library, making it clear that he would expect something in return. Yvonne quickly realises what Fenner is up to and doesn’t like it, she takes Snowball to one side and warns her of Fenner’s reputation and that any decision to ally herself with him could cost her dearly.

Hollamby takes great pleasure in informing Denny that Shaz has been transferred out. Predictably, Denny freaks out and ends up being dragged down the block. Scenting an opportunity to grab a very sweet slice of revenge, Hollamby sets about making Denny’s life as awful as possible, even going so far as intercepting and destroying Shaz’s letters to her.

Yvonne is convinced that Shaz was transferred out because someone grassed about her fight with Maxi. As far as she’s concerned, there’s only one culprit – Tina. However, Tina convinces Yvonne of her innocence, prompting her to turn her attentions to Al. Realising that Yvonne is planning on extracting a confession from Al with her fists, Barbara owns up to confiding in Henry, not realising that he would relay the details of their conversation to Neil.

The Julies meet with their barrister to prepare for their upcoming GBH trial. The barrister is sceptical when the Julies claim to have attacked Damian in self-defence, not least because no one actually saw Damian attack either of them. Julie J is quick to realise the futility of the situation and tries to persuade Julie S that they should plead guilty, either that or she should carry the can on her own, Rhiannon is her daughter after all. Julie S refuses to hear of this, she’s convinced that the only chance they have is if they plead not-guilty and try to convince the jury that they acted in self-defence.

After being put under extreme pressure by Cassie, Roisin decides to tell Aidan the truth about their relationship when he brings the children in to visit. However Cassie, who is receiving a visit from her sister, gets in first and drops the truth on him like a ton of bricks. Aidan is furious and drags the children away from her, telling her that she’ll never see them again. Later, Roisin convinces Cassie that she’s relieved now that the truth is out, but it’s not long before she goes in search of a little something to take the edge off her despair, eventually settling for a syringe full of heroin.

The Julies’ trial goes from bad to worse. First Hollamby testifies against them and then Rhiannon viciously demolishes Julie J’s character. It’s Damian’s evidence that really cooks their goose though when he graphically describes the extent of his injuries to the obviously sympathetic jury. The Julies’ barrister provides evidence of Damian’s history of pimping and violence against women. Rhiannon is horrified when one of his ex girlfriends takes the stand and tells the court of his violent behaviour towards her and the other women he pimped. As the judge orders the jury to retire to consider their verdict, the Julies are returned to Larkhall.

Neil has been blackmailed and manipulated into asking Di to move in with him but when it comes to the crunch, he panics and tells Di the truth about his sexuality. He is surprised when Di tells him that she knew all along, but his surprise turns to amazement when she suggests that they should get married, an arrangement that would provide them both with the perfect front.

After Barbara tears a strip off him, a contrite Henry takes a trip down to the block to visit Denny. He is appalled when Tina informs him that it’s Denny’s 21st birthday and that she’ll be spending it in solitary confinement. Denny is hostile at first but begins to soften up when Henry shows interest in her background and her concerns about her mother who she hasn’t seen in over a year. When Hollamby refuses his pleas for clemency on Denny’s behalf, Henry takes his concerns to Neil. Hollamby is furious when Neil orders her to allow Denny back onto the wing and instructs her to establish Jessie’s whereabouts.

Snowball makes a deal with Fenner, he’ll make life inside a great deal easier for her if she keeps him informed of what’s happening on the wing. Desperate to get something on Yvonne, he instructs Snowball to gain her trust and find out what she’s up to. Little does he know that Snowball has her own little scam set up and is receiving contraband concealed inside the books that she is requesting through the library system.

Yvonne is convinced that there’s something not quite right about Snowball and, with Cassie’s help, sets off to prove it. Thanks to the Internet discover that Snowball is not the serious actress she claims to be – she’s a porn star! Cassie and Yvonne print off some photographs and humiliate Snowball by distributing them around the wing. However, Snowball surprises them both when she choose to front up. She drops the American drawl and in an accent that is pure Lancashire, sells the wing a sob story about travelling to America to become an actress and ending up being manipulated into starring in porn movies. The other women are sympathetic and Yvonne is left feeling totally outmanoeuvred.

The Julies return to court when the jury return from their deliberations. They are both found guilty of GBH with intent.


Denny – “Evil shitting bastards! I want to be with Shaz!”
Hollamby – “Yes, well, you won’t be seeing either of your murdering girlfriends now! Take a leaf out of Maxi Purvis’s book…(throws toilet roll into cell) today’s lunch!”

Snowball – “I’m sorry I took your friend’s cell.”
Yvonne – “You’ll be even sorrier if you make friends with Fenner.”
Snowball – “He’s my personal officer…can’t hurt if he’s hot for me.”
Yvonne – “You’re either on his side or mine, make your choice.”

Snowball – “Chapel was my sanctuary on remand, any of you guys go?”
Barbara – “I play the organ.”
Al – “Aye, the Vicar’s.”

Neil – “You’re not moving in.”
Di – “What?”
Neil – “I don’t want you here.”
Di – “Neil, what the hell are you talking about? I’m all packed up!”
Neil – “I’m sorry.”
Di – “Sorry?”
Neil – “I am gay, okay? I only got it up for you by imagining I was with a man!”

Di – “I don’t know what you’re so scared of. Why can’t you just be what you are?”
Neil – “You think the freemasons are going to let an out, gay man run the Prison Service?”
Di – “Yeah, well if they got rid of all the lesbian officers there wouldn’t be much of a Prison Service left!”
Neil – “Foot soldiers! The higher you climb, the more you need to fit. I am stuffed!”

Tina – “Happy birthday Den.”
Denny – “Yeah, happy friggin’ shit man.”

Roisin – “He said he told the kids I was drugged up again so I told him he’d better divorce me then.”

Judge Bradshaw – “On the charge of causing grievous bodily harm with intent, how do you find the defendant Julie Saunders?”
Foreman – “Guilty.”
Judge Bradshaw – “On the charge of causing grievous bodily harm with intent, how do you find the defendant Sonya Dawson?”
Foreman – “Guilty.”

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