Series 4, Episode 2


Written by Phil Ford
Produced by Claire Phillips
Directed by Jo Johnson

Air Date: 7th March, 2002

Synopsis

As Karen pulls Yvonne off the ladder and wrestles her to the ground, Fenner tries to stop her accomplices from making a getaway by leaping on the bonnet of their car. Karen manages to subdue Yvonne who is still protesting her innocence – if Karen needs any proof of Fenner’s misdeeds, she should contact Helen Stewart. Di and Mark arrive and Karen tells them to take Yvonne straight down to the block and put her in the strips. As Yvonne is dragged away, Karen begins to suspect that she and Helen were hell-bent on setting Fenner up for something he didn’t do. However, when she returns home to apologise to Fenner, she finds him packing his bags. Fenner is unswayed by Karen’s apologies and calmly informs her that he can no longer live with someone who doesn’t trust him.

Hollamby and Di go for a drink in the officer’s club to calm their nerves. Mark arrives with Barry Pearce, a new transfer from D-Wing. Predictably, Di takes an instant shine to the newcomer but incredibly, Barry shows every sign of having fallen for her too! Barry offers Di a lift home and, when they finally leave the club, kisses her passionately in the doorway.

New governing governor Neil Grayling arrives with a line in patronising smiles and management gobbledegook. Karen is late for work and arrives in time to find Neil outlining his vision to G-Wing’s officers. Neil makes his disapproval very clear and then, rather pointedly, asks Fenner to give him a tour of the wing. It doesn’t take long for Fenner to start sucking up to Neil, bringing Karen’s methods of management into question in the process.

Now that Yvonne is safely out of the way, Maxi and Al decide it’s time to knock G-Wing into shape. After being ‘persuaded’ to clean Maxi and Al’s cell, the Julies complain to Yvonne when they deliver her lunch. Yvonne however has other things on her mind; given the evidence against her, her solicitor has recommended that she plead guilty to manslaughter or risk a life sentence. It doesn’t take Yvonne long to realise that there’s no way out for her and the following morning, she signs a full confession.

After spending the entire weekend together, Di and Barry can’t keep their hands off each other. Karen and Fenner however have both had miserable weekends. Fenner is staying in a B&B but even when Karen tries to bury the hatchet, insists that they both need time to work out what they want from a relationship.

Neil has decided that his first project will be the privatisation of the canteen. After consulting Fenner, he decides to give the job to Hollamby. She is very unhappy with her new appointment until Neil informs her that she can expect a bonus if profits improve. Hollamby sets about dreaming up ways to rip the inmates off and co-opts a reluctant Mark to help her with her latest brainwave – 50p lucky bags – basically, a couple of chocolate biscuits and toffees in a paper bag. The inmates soon start kicking up a fuss when they open their lucky bags and discover that they have been conned. Shaz is particularly vocal, especially when she also notices that the bag of crisps she has just bought are well past their sell-by date. Barry grabs Shaz by the arm and marches her down the corridor. Shaz complains about the red marks his fingernails have left on her skin and he responds by putting her on report.

Di is surprised when she learns that Barry has put Shaz on report and asks him to just give her a warning instead. Barry agrees but warns her that she’s too soft with the inmates. Later over a drink in the officer’s club, Di asks Barry to move in with her. Di is well and truly besotted, so much so that she has Barry’s name tattooed in a heart on her chest.

After she expresses her concerns about the inmates being ripped off by the new canteen management, Neil puts some serious thought into Karen’s future. He’s less than impressed with her attempts to keep order on the wing and starts looking among his staff for a new wing governor. Could he really be so misguided as to think that Fenner could be the man for the job?

Quotes

Yvonne – “I didn’t murder O’Kane, it was Maxi Purvis!”
Karen – “Oh yesterday it was Mr Fenner.”
Yvonne – “It’s a conspiracy. He’s as bent as a pig’s dick! Ask Miss Stewart, she knows.”
Karen – “Knows what?”
Yvonne – “She asked me to help her nail the bastard.”

Hollamby – “My nerves are wound so tight Hank Marvin could play on them.”

Neil – “I think the most important thing to say is that we’re all in this together. This is not so much HMP Larkhall from now long as HMS Larkhall and we’re all on board her sink or swim. But, this is one skipper who doesn’t intend to go down with his ship.”

Neil – “I’m going to fight all the way for this prison. Money’s available but we have to find ways to cut our costs too.”
Fenner – “Any more cost cutting and we’ll be growing our own lunches.”

Julie S – “So what, you got someone you’re not telling us Miss?”
Di – “You’ll just have to watch this space.”
Julie S – (As Di leaves) “Poor git whoever he is.”

Julie J – “Bag of shit you getting caught Yvonne.”
Julie S – “Maxi and her gang are stomping all over the place now; they’re even running a bleedin’ protection racket.”
Julie J – “Only we can’t say nowt ‘cause they’ll hang us off the doorframe by our nips.”

Shaz – “Common whorehound!”
Di – “Pardon?”
Shaz – “For you Miss. Flowery herb innit?”

Mark – “Lucky bags?”
Hollamby – “One chocolate finger, two chews, three toffees, two mint humbugs and a chocolate digestive in each one. Not bad for 50p each is it?”
Mark – “Fifty pence! There’s nothing lucky about that, unless we get away without them lynching us.”

Mark – “They put sell-by dates on these things for a reason you know.”
Hollamby – “Stuff and nonsense! The substances these women put up their noses and what not. Do you really think a few pieces of middle-aged chocolate’s going to hurt them?”
Mark – “No, but they should be treated like everybody else out there.”
Hollamby – “Well stop locking them up then.”

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