Series 4, Episode 7


Written by Phil Ford
Produced by Claire Phillips
Directed by Craig Lines

Air Date: 11th April, 2002

Synopsis

Fenner nearly has a coronary when he wakes up to find a naked Neil lying beside him. He leaps from the bed and expresses his disgust, making it clear to Neil that he’s straight. Neil shrugs it off, telling Fenner that they should both forget it ever happened. As the day progresses, Neil becomes more and more irritated by the avoidance tactics Fenner is employing and accuses him of being homophobic, telling him to tread carefully or risk his job.

Cassie is becoming increasingly worried by Roisin’s depression and goes to speak to Mark. He agrees to telephone Aiden, hoping that hearing just how depressed Roisin is might change his mind about bringing her kids in to visit. Meanwhile, Roisin realises that she needs something to counteract the effects of the sleeping pills she’s been taking and buys some speed from Buki.

Shaz and Denny return from the block and vow to take revenge on Buki for messing up their escape plans. Their opportunity arrives when they discover that Buki has been replying to the personal ads in the ‘Prisoner’s Times’. Shaz writes a letter from a man called Phil McCracken and addresses it to Buki. Buki is delighted when she receives the letter and brags to her cellmates about how wonderful her new boyfriend is. Shaz and Denny manage to intercept Buki’s reply to Phil. They also steal a photograph of another inmate’s boyfriend and include it in Phil’s next letter, along with a lock of hair they find in the showers and a request for Buki to send him a VO – he’s being released in a few days time and wants to see her.

Karen and Mark meet for a drink after work to discuss their relationship. Mark is concerned that Karen still has feelings for Fenner and wonders if it’s worth taking things any further. Karen admits that she still cares for Fenner but is determined to move on. They agree to take things slowly and then share a kiss to seal their decision.

Neil finally loses patience with Fenner’s jumpy behaviour (such as jamming his bedroom door shut with a chair) and orders him out of his house. The following day, Fenner reveals all to Karen and she responds by laughing.

The two Julies arrive back on the wing now minus their red-bands. However, finding out that Tina and Noreen are now doing their job is nothing when they discover that they’ve also been busted back down to basic!

Buki is upset when Phil doesn’t turn up for his visit. She lies to the other women when they ask what he was like and informs them that he has promised to wait for her. Shaz and Denny are delighted by the hole Buki is digging for herself and decide to humiliate her further. They give her an envelope and a ring that was left at the gate and which Hollamby asked them to pass along to her. Buki is ecstatic when she reads that Phil wants them to get engaged and puts the ring on immediately, taking great pleasure in showing it off to the rest of the wing. Shaz and Denny chose that moment to reveal the humiliating truth.

Roisin is over the moon when she discovers that Aiden is bringing the children in to visit her but her excitement is short-lived when Karen arrives to take her for an impromptu drugs test. When the test comes back positive, Mark makes his disappointment clear. However, he realises how close Roisin is to the edge and decides to allow the visit to go ahead. A passing Neil orders Mark to cancel the visit. Roisin is distraught and has to be dragged away.

Karen objects when Fenner confines Roisin to a spell on the block, concerned that she may resort to harming herself. Fenner agrees but admits to her that there’s nothing he can do while Neil is breathing down his neck. Karen finally realises the extent of Neil’s unfair behaviour towards Fenner and decides to put him in his place. She bursts into Neil’s office and accuses him of taking his frustrations out on Roisin. Neil deflects Karen’s accusations and anger by reaching into his wallet and taking out an extremely revealing photograph of her. He shows the photograph to Karen telling her that Fenner gave it to him.

Quotes

Buki – “I friggin’ died in that dodgy tunnel of yours and friggin’ Bodybag brought me back to life. I ain’t worked out yet which were the worse.”

Shaz – “What we gonna call him?”
Denny – “How about Luke Skywalker?”
Shaz – “Come on! Even Buki ain’t as thick as that. I’ve got it…Phil. Phil McCracken, no-one’s gonna be called that. You get it? Fill my crack in.”

Neil – “On the subject of the Julies, I want them stripped of their red-bands as from today.”
Hollamby – “Eh? But they’re the only inmates we’ve got who can tell the business end of a mop from a judge’s wig.”

Fenner – “The number one is after my arse. He’s a bastard shit-stabber!”
Karen – “Jim, what the hell are you talking about?”
Fenner – “The bloody puff tried to shag me!” (Frowns as Karen starts to laugh)

Mark – “Well I’ll give the number one his due; he knows a prize arse-hole when he sees one.”
Karen – “Promise me though, no spreading it about.”
Mark – “You’ve got my word…but it’s about time someone gave Jim a good shafting.” (Both collapse in hysterical laughter)

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