Series 5, Episode 14


Written by Di Burrows
Produced by David Crean
Directed by Jim Loach

Air Date: 7th August, 2003

Synopsis

It’s Di’s first day as wing governor and her first task is to inform Fenner that he is in the clear. Typically, Fenner decides that the easiest way to earn Di’s confidence is to pile on the flattery; on the pretext of a celebration he invites Di for dinner, but not before convincing her to send Yvonne down the block.

Bev and Phyl are impressed by Denny’s artwork and decided to take her under their wing. Of course, they have an ulterior motive for this – they see a great deal of financial potential in Denny’s creations, not to mention her gullibility and hope to fleece her whilst providing “considerable creative and financial guidance”. After being told that she could earn “thousands”, Denny is in a buoyant mood, even more so when Yvonne presents her with an expensive box of paints. However, when Yvonne tells her that the paints are a present from Hedges, Denny erupts and angrily informs Yvonne where he can stick them.

New inmate, lifer Kristen “Kris” Yates arrives at Larkhall and immediately starts showing the officers that she won’t be pushed around. After getting on the wrong side of Hollamby and Dr Nicholson, she is escorted up to G3. After hearing about the latest tough nut on the block from Hollamby, Fenner decides to throw his weight around and pays Kris a visit, failing in his attempt to intimidate her by a long way. When new officer Selena hears of Kris’ reputation, she immediately volunteers to become her personal officer. When Selena goes to “introduce” herself to Kris and instead, ends up in a passionate clinch with her, it becomes obvious that their relationship is a lot more than just officer and inmate.

Fenner escorts Yvonne down the block and tells her he’s destroyed the pictures she took. He takes great pleasure in informing her that he’s in the clear and, now that Karen’s out of the way, he’s going to make sure that she spends the rest of her life locked up – exactly where he wants her to be. Defeated, Yvonne confides in Hedges that she is planning to get rid of Fenner for good.

Bev and Phyl’s plans are progressing at great speed. After convincing an art dealer friend of Denny’s talent, they arrange for him to exhibit her work, hoping that the media interest they have created with their PR skills will see them creaming off a rather large commission. Meanwhile, Neil has been in contact with the art dealer, Oliver, and scenting some much needed good PR for Larkhall, decides to give Denny permission to attend the opening night of her exhibition. To get on the good side of Di, Bev and Phyl persuade Denny to provide her with a painting to hang on the wall of her newly decorated, and incredibly frilly and pink, office.

Fenner goes out of his way to bury the hatchet with Colin and invites him out for a friendly drink so that they can sort out their differences. At the officer’s club, Fenner informs Hedges that Di was all for having him transferred off G-Wing but that he managed to talk her out of it. Mistakenly thinking that Fenner has done him a big favour, Hedges begins to soften slightly and goes straight to see Yvonne to tell her about it. Yvonne is angry that Hedges can even think about believing Fenner and immediately twigs that he is taking heroin again. Hedges admits that the pressure is getting to him but when he tries to get closer to Yvonne, she tells him to “piss off”.

Buki is surprised when Hollamby informs her that she has a visitor waiting to see her. She has no idea that Yvonne and Barbara faked a visiting order so that Christopher Biggins and her son, Lennox, could come into the prison to see her. It’s an emotional reunion for Buki and the child she left for dead on a toilet floor. However, Christopher has another surprise in store – he and his partner have adopted Lennox and want Buki to come and live with them as a proper family after her release.

Kris had no idea that Selena had applied to become a prison officer and at first, tells her to resign – she doesn’t want both of them to waste their lives in prison. After some time alone, she realises just how much Selena has given up for her and apologises. Selena’s job may mean that they can spend time together during the day but at the end of her shift, she has to go home. On Kris’s first night at Larkhall, their parting is an emotional once. However, once outside the prison gates, Selena receives a text message from a mystery woman called Milly…is being parted from Kris proving too much for her already?

Di and Fenner end up in the bedroom after their date and Di strips off to reveal more than Fenner bargained for – namely, padding beneath her skirt in place of the pregnant bump everyone, especially Neil and Tony, thought was there.

Quotes

Di – “Smiley faces for unlock then!”

Barbara – “Just sit tight, your photos will do the trick.”
Yvonne – “They better, ‘cause he knows they’re down to me, and if he squirms his way out of this one, I’m stuffed.”

Kris – “If you treat me like an animal I’ll behave like one.”
Hollamby – “We can treat you worse.”

Hollamby – “I’ve seen it all before so you can stop the macho act. You’ll be crying into your pillow later like all the rest.”

Fenner – “Just so you know, it might be Mad Dog Barker up there on the throne, but down here where it counts, it’s still me running the show.”
Yvonne – “Do your worst, you know you can never break me.”
Fenner – “Really? I think a spot of contemplation might do you good, say a few prayers for dear, departed Betts.”
Yvonne – “Not dead is she?”
Fenner – “She might as well be. You know, the way I see it, there’s only two ways out of here for you…first I nut you off to the funny farm like Dockley, second is in a wooden box like Merriman…any preferences?”

Fenner – “With Betts gone and another bird in the hot-seat, us blokes should stick together.”
Hedges – “I’d rather stick to a pile of shite mate.”

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